Embracing Faith, Loss, and the Promise of Eternity
This is the final part of a 3 part blog testimony.
In Parts 1 and 2, I shared the journey of learning to find faith and purpose amid illness and trials, as well as the strength and perspective that faith continues to bring. Now, in Part 3, I want to share the story of my greatest blessing—my husband, Matt.
This final part holds both the joy of our love story and the heartbreak of his passing, a loss that tested my faith in ways I never anticipated. Through it, God has shown me what true resilience and grace look like, even in the face of profound sorrow.
Matthew Silverman once said, “Babe, God always writes the best stories.” I started praying for an Armenian Christian husband at 16, but I was always fascinated with God’s chosen people. So on January 1, 2022, during my illness, God sent me Matt Silverman, a “5 foot ten half Armenian, half Jewish package.” God’s hand in our love story was so evident; Matt was personally “signed, sealed, and delivered” from God to me. Years earlier, when we were both healthy, we’d driven to camp together, laughing about physics and Broadway. Fast forward, and Matt, amidst his cancer, was sitting across my bed, patiently answering my questions about God until 11 pm. When I thanked him, he responded, “There’s no place I’d rather be.” Soon we realized we were falling in love.
When Matt said “Lara” in his deep voice, I’d melt. I’d prepare songs to sing as he lay down, and my dad would roll his eyes, “Oh, Matt must be coming again.” I’d laugh, saying, “Dad, listen, this guy is the crème de la crème.” I’d send him bright pink Victorian love letters addressed to “Trouble Silverman” to embarrass him in front of his roommates. When he proposed months later, we took engagement photos at the Pulgas Water Temple, where the verse happened to be my devotional verse that very morning—Isaiah 43:20. It became our wedding theme: God gives streams of refreshing water in desert times.
The measure of a life is not its duration but its donation. I told Matt on date one he was the closest representation of Christ I had ever met. It was irresistibly attractive. He gives all his money to charity, fasts when praying for others, teaches children and preaches internationally. His eyes told the story of perseverance in great suffering. Matt was cut from a different cloth: his entire countenance shined radiantly with Christ’s peace. Thus, I believe Matt’s greatest donation was his example of Christlikeness.
I will tell you now about Matt’s four Godly traits that he exhibited to me in marital love. He constantly exhibited four Godly traits in our love: wisdom, compassion, humility, and courage.
First, Matt was driven by an unquenchable desire to grow in wisdom, which is why many called upon him to preach.
I watched him edit sermons to perfection at night. Despite agonizing cancer pain, he drove to camp with his chemo pump hooked up to his chest just to share his wisdom. Living with someone so wise was humbling, like a microscope convicting me of my sinful ways.
Matt’s second trait is that because of his suffering (this was his second cancer), he instinctively displayed great compassion for others.
I found a notebook where he’d meticulously scribbled people’s names, their specific needs, and the day of the week to pray. He made me feel extremely understood. He never once judged me and often prompted me, “God wants us to have joy in our suffering, right babe?” His faith literally upheld mine.
Third, Matt was incredibly humble and servant-hearted, putting others first.
I watched him give lectures while lying down in pain, always focused on his students. When I told him he was the perfect Christian, he got flustered and said, “Lara stop… Don’t idolize me.” One day I surprised him with a new wardrobe, and he teared up, saying, “I always felt guilty spending money on myself.” He fostered my passions, once calling me his “Maria from Sound of Music.” I treasured his compliment deeply.
Matt, the Type A engineer, was also surprisingly romantic. Once, he said, “my lady, your chariot awaits.” While hospitalized, I sent him a love song about flowers, and he returned home with two bouquets, saying, “I just had to reenact that video.”
Lastly, Matt was supernaturally courageous, teaching me how to go through this world fearlessly.
He taught me courage. Chemo after chemo, surgery after surgery, blood test, CAT scan, you name it, he came back, laid down, smiled and said the same thing every single time: “That’s my girl.” No bitterness. No fear. Some frustration? Yes. Even in hospice, after nine weeks without a crumb of food, he praised God not only publicly but to me privately until his last breath. He often said, “For the Christian, death is nothing but a doorway into Christ’s presence.”
Falling in love amidst illness was a miracle in itself. But Matt kept us focused on Ephesians 5:16: “make the most of every opportunity.” We didn’t waste time: we started a theology and music YouTube channel, put on concerts, gave testimonies, and raised $13,000 for Haiti. I bear witness to the truth of 2nd Corinthians 12:9, where God says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Though we begged God for more time together, Matt would remind me, “This life is a blip in light of eternity, so focus on eternal things.” And John 11:25 promises that those who believe in Jesus “will live, even though they die.” Thus, I proclaim today: MY HUSBAND IS ALIVE RIGHT NOW!
This is the beauty of Christianity. Just look at Jesus hanging on the cross and then resurrecting miraculously. Thus, Matt’s story is not over, as much as it cuts like a knife now. When Matt first got diagnosed, the sermon series at church was the story of Joseph, and Matt drew great strength from that famous line in Genesis 50 that what Satan intends for evil, God intends for good.
Three years later, the night Matt entered Heaven, I opened my Bible devotional and lo and behold it was on the Joseph story and it emphasized how God works all things for good, no matter how tragic. That’s NOT a coincidence; it’s an encouragement from God that there is a purpose to Matt’s story and this is NOT its end. And just as Joseph’s sufferings led to his premiership, I believe God will reward Matt immensely in heaven for suffering faithfully to achieve God’s hidden redemptive purposes. In Christianity, the cross always leads to glory.
If grief is the price I have to pay for experiencing Matt’s love, I will pay it. Matt once gave me a special photo album titled “A Musical Love Story.” Well, that story is not over, as God redeems all things. See you in heaven, my sweet Matthew.
As I move forward, I nonetheless carry Matt's legacy and the love that has transformed my life. His unwavering faith, compassion, and courage inspire me to embrace each day, despite the anger and grief. I am reminded that even in the deepest suffering, God is near, and He has a purpose that will ultimately reveal a story of redemption and grace. Though my journey continues without Matt by my side, his love and example remain a guiding light, a reminder that in Christ, nothing is ever truly lost…
Guest Blog by Lara: Lara Silverman is an Armenian American lawyer, jazz singer, comedic actress, and violinist. A Stanford-trained lawyer, she specialized in high-stakes litigation before becoming seriously ill in 2018. In 2023, she married Matt Silverman, an engineering PhD and Youth Pastor, and they created a YouTube channel, “The Silverman Show,” featuring music, comedy, and faith-based content. After a year of marriage, Matt passed away in June 2024. Lara, still bedridden half the time, recently released her debut jazz/pop album and continues to find strength in her faith.