How can I resolve conflict as a christian?

I recently learnt a big lesson on growth.

A situation was presented to me, that let’s just say was wrapped up in spiky and sharp exterior and quite frankly, begged an equally sharp response in return.

As I was reflecting on how I dealt with the situation, I realised that my old self wouldn’t have been able to navigate that situation quite so gracefully.

How do you tend to react when you’ve been insulted?

What’s your initial reaction? Is it to retaliate? To shout? Make your point at whatever cost?

If that tends to be how you react, then my question to you is this: what are you really gaining from meeting someone on their level?

Yes, you get to throw some verbal punches at the other person, which might bring an expiring moment of satisfaction… but you also burn the bridge that leads to respect and reconciliation.

You hurt your own image when you are trying to win the fight and you can end up being mean and saying things that may be difficult to take back. You become bitter and angry, because you are trying to match a negative energy that will only deplete you.

Handling conflict as a Christian

Proverbs 12 talks about how “A wise person stays quiet when insulted.”

God knows we won’t always get it right. We may still have outbursts, and unintentional responses because we are human. Yet, the verse shows us the importance of turning to Godly wisdom as opposed to our own.

That was the key difference I realised, as I was evaluating my reaction to my situation recently.

By God’s grace, my focus was on the fact that I wanted to rely on wisdom outside of my own, protect my peace, and keep a calmness in my spirit. Nothing would be gained from matching their anger or their words. It would only create a bigger problem internally, trying to respond from the same dysfunctional place that often leads to nowhere or creates a lot of broken pieces to be picked up afterward.

So, I want to leave you with this encouragement, when you find yourself dealing with conflict, remember Proverbs 12. There is wisdom in refraining and choosing to deal with situations in the way that God instructs. Ultimately, you will be at peace knowing that you are responding in a way that pleases the Lord.